Hey!
Good Morning
Here
is
a question
Why does the completion of a task simulate its answer?
If I’m wondering about something, writing about it is apparently enough to satisfy me without even finding a surefire answer
My writing doesn’t even have to be thorough
Just, clever
I think
I’m honestly not sure what my standards for my own work are
but I’ll say this
When Paul of Tarsus recorded his revelations, I can’t imagine he expected what ended up on paper…
Like that was some crazy juju
Ooh
ya
Something inside of me demands a certain level of output in order to be at rest once again
And that, I believe, is the mystery of creative inspiration
one of them, at least
Here is what I know
Sometimes I am tortured by my desire to know
Almost as much as I am by the number of seasons it takes for Shawn and Juliet to start dating
great show
But frustrating
As crime dramas can be
Comedies?
mm
I’ve heard it both ways
But
Not factual knowledge
Rather
The knowledge through which the answers are attainable
The knowledge of God.
And my point is
I stop short of that
Every day
Specifically, in all my creative endeavors
I settle for something satisfactory
Not necessarily true
Certainly not something certain. Ah.
As if I found the answer in myself
and it is by no means concrete but hey if the voice inside me urged and these are words I found to best describe the things it is communicating then well standards met it’ll do
I simply question whether truth is something accomplishable and/or convertible into task form
And there’s another reason I wonder about this
In the past,
I can think of specific things that I struggled with
One in particular, actually, is on my mind but there are more
This one was a song that that I wrote that addressed a concern that I had about how I should structure my pursuits in the world
Specifically, it questioned how goodness and ambition could be compatible, if at all
And I faced this conflict around freshman/Sophomore year (of high school) I think
Anyways, the dilemma dissipated once I became satisfied with the song
I wasn’t satisfied with the answer!
But that didn’t matter
heck I wasn’t even thinking about that
But the song helped me think things through enough that I realized
1) it’s a complex issue
2) it’s been on my mind enough and I’ve written and struggled through it enough that I can trust myself to sense out what is better or worse in particular situations moving forward
And I realized those things semi-consciously it seems
meaning I realized them without realizing that I realized them
Thus they quickly faded into the background to join the comradery of other previous conclusions pulling strings unbeknownst to me
Now, I’m realizing these things consciously
Which I suspect is how it’s supposed to be
The problem isn’t solved
But I’m still living life, which means the problem isn’t fully confronted nor spelled out yet
So of course it isn’t solved!
And I shouldn’t wish it to be!
And I should not treat creative phenomena with suspicion
If I “accomplish the truth” without properly identifying and articulating a specific end-all be-all answer
Then that’s good – that’s how it works
These things are a process
And the confrontation acts as an answer because it facilitates thought
And the utter relief I experience when I put my gritty tears of intellect on paper must not be questioned nor considered invalid or inferior to a thorough rationality
They are justified and necessary by virtue of the fact that I have not the answer in the first place