“You Look Like..”

you look like a tourist destination no one wants to go to, Martha’s Vine-Turd

you look like the old guy who boos at a high school talent show

you look like a child that Bruce Willis would give up for adoption – cry cause nobody loves you, live a sad life then die hard

you look like a guy who hears “I’m busy that day” a lot from the people he knows

you look like someone who would roll around in a wheelchair just for the sympathy

you look like Dolly Parton if she deadlifted and got a sex change

you look like Whoopi Goldberg had a kid with a donkey

you look like a good reason to walk in the other direction

you look like a crackhead Mr. T – “I pity the fool who do these drugs” *snort*

you look like microwaved jello

you look like a faithful man, always faithful to his favorite prostitute

you look like a prostitute’s regular customer

you look like- Oh aren’t you a regular at a local brothel?

you look like heathen Simon Peter

you look like a smurf stuck in the avatar film

you look like Larry the Cable Man’s toilet plunger

And finally

you look like the traumatic experience that a mirror has to work through with her psychiatrist


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