a nice thing about relationships is this
The whole time you’re in one
you can be totally preoccupied with the terror of said relationship’s potential termination
and at that point, why are you in the relationship?
it obviously sucks!
What is love?
I’ll tell you what it is for many
it’s a lie
With romantic/sexual partnerships, as with everything else,
the cards are dealt,
the chips fall as they may,
the cookie crumbles how it do,
What I’m saying is this
Well actually let me just clarify that “relationships are a lie” is a bit of an imprecise statement
very imprecise. but funny.
What this article is truly about is my issue with the prevalence of dating in society
Although I am still in the process of pinning down and articulating what exactly my issues are
I’ll begin with this rather imprecise statement:
Barring completely dedicated contractually lifelong monogamous relationships, all pretense of non-erotic love and romantic kindredness (not incest – the other meaning) in a relationship is a 100% deception
Imagine two circles, the outer ring being the relationship and the inner being sex
I think that the potential, and likely plausibly eventual, termination of any non-contractually bound relationship cheapens everything signified by the surface area between the two circles
i.e. everything not sex
There are questions I’m not addressing when I make these statements
I don’t even fully understand what my argument is so don’t think that I think I’m correct
I’m just perhaps more right than you
For example, sometimes people aren’t looking primarily for sex
Sex is always a fundamental motivator, but they could be searching more specifically for validation, dominance, comradery, etc. I’m sure there’s other categories
What I’m getting at is that we have everything arranged socially such that the vast majority of people are able to lie to themselves and others about their motivations and the fundamental reality of things purely in order to satisfy their sexual needs
Now Tinder and Grinder and whatever-that’s-called culture has certainly bypassed the social arrangement and gone straight to blatant business,
which I can appreciate
My basic claim is this
Taking time to get to meet and get to know people with expressly romantic purposes is an objectively inferior way to live one’s life
Here’s how I live
I pursue people if they interest me
I have never considered someone romantically without having first been their friend for a considerable amount of time.
And if you haven’t figured it out yet,
I’ve never fallen in love