Relationships are a LIE



a nice thing about relationships is this

The whole time you’re in one

you can be totally preoccupied with the terror of said relationship’s potential termination

and at that point, why are you in the relationship?

it obviously sucks!

What is love?

I’ll tell you what it is for many

a lie

it’s a lie


With romantic/sexual partnerships, as with everything else,

the cards are dealt,

the chips fall as they may,

the cookie crumbles how it do,


What I’m saying is this

Well actually let me just clarify that “relationships are a lie” is a bit of an imprecise statement

very imprecise. but funny.

What this article is truly about is my issue with the prevalence of dating in society

Although I am still in the process of pinning down and articulating what exactly my issues are

I’ll begin with this rather imprecise statement:

Barring completely dedicated contractually lifelong monogamous relationships, all pretense of non-erotic love and romantic kindredness (not incest – the other meaning) in a relationship is a 100% deception

Imagine two circles, the outer ring being the relationship and the inner being sex

I think that the potential, and likely plausibly eventual, termination of any non-contractually bound relationship cheapens everything signified by the surface area between the two circles

i.e. everything not sex

There are questions I’m not addressing when I make these statements

I don’t even fully understand what my argument is so don’t think that I think I’m correct

I’m just perhaps more right than you

For example, sometimes people aren’t looking primarily for sex

Sex is always a fundamental motivator, but they could be searching more specifically for validation, dominance, comradery, etc. I’m sure there’s other categories

What I’m getting at is that we have everything arranged socially such that the vast majority of people are able to lie to themselves and others about their motivations and the fundamental reality of things purely in order to satisfy their sexual needs

Now Tinder and Grinder and whatever-that’s-called culture has certainly bypassed the social arrangement and gone straight to blatant business,

which I can appreciate

My basic claim is this

Taking time to get to meet and get to know people with expressly romantic purposes is an objectively inferior way to live one’s life

Here’s how I live

I pursue people if they interest me

I have never considered someone romantically without having first been their friend for a considerable amount of time.

And if you haven’t figured it out yet,

I’ve never fallen in love

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