Know Your(not-your)self

Someone just told me about their epiphany concerning authenticity

I didn’t say anything back

I just stared at them

while slowly chewing my Tostitos scoops

it wasn’t rude

they’re used to it so

I’m not completely sure what their problem was

with the concept of authenticity, that is

but they said something intelligent about it

they said it had to do with integrity

and they learned this from a Louis Ck bit but still

eek, nobody’s perfect I guess*

I’d give you details about what this person said

But I don’t remember them so.

One big question about authenticity is this:

Is it an issue for my actions around people and my ‘actions’ around myself to be, by all indications, incongruent?

so, this is a general thang

And it’s a difficult question to approach

One issue is the collection of hard data in order to evaluate the details of the question

And memory is a dodgy thing, colored by the mood and hour

With something like this, it might be better to narrow my scope and boost it forward a bit

i.e. instead of examining an extensive past, I examine my immediate past and consider my immediate future

This can help me be more accurate about how I evaluate myself and more intentional about how I’ll behave in the future

So, how to address the bothersome incongruity that we see in ourselves?

The fluctuation that depends on context and company?

Well, for starters, being social means sensing what a situation requires and not messing it up

Being the exact same all the time is boring and unhelpful

Oh, and also impossible

When I am discontent with or confused by how I am acting in certain situations or around certain people,

My three questions are:

– What precisely am I not liking about my behavior?

– If it is truly less than optimal behavior, why?

– How should I alter my behavior ethically and genuinely?

. . .

Authenticity requires self-knowledge

This is apparent

If you’re lying to yourself or simply ignoring your own motivations and/or nature,

You could experience issues being authentic

Although it’s a bit of a moot point considering thoughtless people likely are not concerned with authenticity – they probably haven’t thought about it

This sort of identity question no doubt carries much more relevance for young people

Like maself! #oldsoulyoungflesh

BUT,

However,

contrariwise,

a middle aged or senior individual who dismisses it as obsolete might take a second look

Not that I would know

Just a guess

At times when I am trying to understand who I am,

I don’t bound myself with adjectives or descriptions or beliefs

I start with what I’m not

Or rather, what I’d like not to be

The process of discerning the silver from the dross requires thought and experience

Seeing what doesn’t work for me and what has a negative affect on my mood or even other people’s perceptions of me

(there are annoying people who could stand to shave off some things about themselves without betraying who they are fundamentally)

Brings me closer to pinpointing what it is that motivates my actions

Anyways, my point is

When I’m confused about how I act,

I start considering which of my mannerisms or choices need to go on the chopping block

 

 

 

 

*just kidding I wouldn’t knock CK that’s a true comedian right there


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