Would you say your life is meaningless?
Probably not
Mine has plenty of it too
In my most nihilistic moments even
Which I’ve found
have a timetable
these moments, that is
I have always wondered why waking up early is so healthy
I’ve always known it is
There’s something better about the morning
many things actually
but it is reasonable to say that people are diverse and what works for some does not work for others
very true
So whatever redeeming quality which the morning possesses that the night does not must have nothing to do with the individual
and everything to do with the morning and the night
Just now as I was drifting amidst my emptiness
sitting on the kitchen floor chewing haphazardly on a bagel that I paid for
I realized
Nights are for thinking
Mornings are for doing
and if you happen to be one of those high-functioning intelligent types
Then nights are for doing and mornings are for sleeping
or more doing
maybe you never sleep
in which case
you are irrelevant and I dislike you for appearing to be more productive than me
most of us need sleep
stop rubbing it in
for a creative, (fairly) rational and sadly neurotic type like me
who also happens to be noncommital
hence the “fairly”
nights lend themselves nicely to my personal void, for lack of a better term coming to mind
It is a void which is full
It is full of me, and the things that are important to me
The things I love and cherish and secure close to my heart
The things that are supposed to encourage me and invigorate my spirit when I find myself drifting on some kitchen floor with some bagel to distract me from my self
It’s symbolic, guys
keep up
As the day darkens, the mind takes to darker matters
This feels a bit cliche, but natural
and a relevant observation nonetheless
Here is my point:
I struggle with action
I am afraid
I am not inclined to assert myself in most situations by nature
Although I have defeated many fears (not permanently – they persist to be defeated again and again), and I have garnered confidence from various victories
I am much more likely to succumb to some sort of imposter’s syndrome
than I am to take hold of the chaos surrounding me and convert it into order
to stand up and speak
to take an opportunity when it presents itself
to dare to know
I cower
To step forth into the world of the unknown
and Live.
And when I wake early in the morning, rested and ready,
I always accomplish the things I fear
But at night
well
Night time is reserved for writing articles like this!
You know
Get it out of my system so I can go to bed and fall to awareness and fail to sleep
haha
If you are sad
If you question yourself
If you are overwhelmed
If you are disorganized and frantic
If you are stressed
If you are weary of a life composed of parts which run together like muddy water and are indistinguishable from each other
If you don’t want to clog your way through 20 years of depression and then wake up one day to look back and marvel at how time flies
If you don’t want to lose your past in the very moment that it is your present,
Get up early
and do something.